Im making the walk of shame with half a box of pizza, its like when youre little and you get a goodie bag leaving the party
I decided to follow my clitoris instead of my heart.
Mother fucker. I'm a 30J now. I'm fucking speechless
not sure what to think.... picked her up and her dad says "if you take her home, you'll regret it"
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Moral of the story: don't get pregs or your chances in the beer league are over
is it cool if i crash at ur house this weekend again bro
yea dude but i wld bring a sleeping bag or something just in case. or u may just have to shack up with a woman or 2 cuz we hav 10 girls visiting/staying over at my house.
how did u manage to make sleeping with a bunch of girls sound like an inconvenience?
We have an unspoken agreement. He helps me move and I give him a blow job. It's really unfair to him considering he doesn't know how much shit I have.
I just got attacked by a swarm of butterflies. Nothing is okay anymore.
Showering in not my own throw up is really hittin the spot right now.
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I have feelings that need drinking.
What drinking game we play yesterday? Fight club or something?
I refuse to believe this is a lapse in my dick hunting skills. It's gotta be the gods playing a game.
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Not sure, she said after cussing out the dentist they called security. Make that the first person I know 86'ed by a dentist.
I couldnt sleep the entire night because her cats kept reaching under the door like they were trying to eat me for taking their place on her bed.
I always knew youd fuck a cat lady
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