After last night I still want u
But please keep that on the DL
we just decided that lesbian tuesdays are a must, as of tomorrow.
you'd be alarmed at how much plan b i just found in mom's bathroom...
I have some memory of taking a dump in a guitar case.
i promise ill be ok...btw im only considered "not ok" if i end up in the hospital.
Only you could be admitted to the ER and walk out with a nurse's phone number. I wish I was gay
I don't care how drunk you were. Sending me a pic of your dick dressed as Uncle Sam with the caption "I want you" isn't an acceptable pick up line.
I let him watch sportscenter while we fucked. How did he repay me? I'm now missing class to get a shot in the ass for the clap. You and I are getting wasted and keying someone's car this weekend.
For sure shouldn't do homework after beers and joints. Just cited like 3 sentences at the end with (History, 2013)
He carried around a bottle of jäger the whole night and when everyone thought the cops came, he started doing push ups in the middle of the floor cause he said it calmed him down.
I'm about to play another round of who's panties are in my car.
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
He's the douchy one who wouldn't let me rip his shirt off, right?
I just wanna go home jackoff, eat chicken fingers, drink beer, play halo and go to bed. I'm sick of this shitty school, the shitty kids and having to fucking teach them.
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