In the car with my brother. His CD went from 2pac to Taylor Swift. I'm concerned. It wasn't a mistake, he knows all the words.
Watching Miami Social reminded me of how much I miss snorting coke with burger king straws in a life guard hut on the beach until we noticed someone was drowning.
Did you save them?
Who?
I showered today. Officially upgrading myself to useless.
i swear to god her finding her clit was like looking for a sock in a dryer full of beach towels
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
DDing is such a bittersweet job, just got the entire history of this girls hookup career
Alosmot hir two of of mt mailanoxwa
Oh Jesus.
Alright, I can go by eventually,, I don't wanna lose a second pair of shoes this semster from blacking out...
6 beers and it feels like I've been drinking water... Daiquiri time
Just had to hide the fact that I'm not wearing underwear from my 7 year old niece.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I will have you again some day my love. And our divorce will be magnificent
I just don't remember. It's like I went to bed on July 3rd.. and woke up on the 5th. Nothing.
I can't have my last hookup before 21 have been behind a dumpster
Point in my hangover when I'm honestly not sure if I'm about to puke, or shit my pants.
Sorry for not calling you back. I got drunk and passed out on the kitchen floor. I just found my phone in the shower.
Mom says you're allowed to come home if you replace the towels. I don't want to know why.
Randomize