It took you an unbelievable amount of time to realize that your ass was on fire.
if we break up, who will get the dealer?
So I've been to the library twice so far. Both times were for the atm, and once I was stoned. Junior year is going great.
I told her that if she blew me I would give her the empty pizza box in the fridge.... Why did she agree?
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I just stuck my fingers down her throat so she could puke. I mean what are friends for
Oh my god she just threw up on her dog
I thought it was a drawer and tried to pull it out and it wasnt a drawer it was the police call button. I hate everything.
I feel like I grabbed someones dick last night, & if I didn't I'll be disappointed in myself
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
is it weird to think that girls born in '96 are now legal?
The council and I are about to open up a bottle of malort.
UPGATe: THE COUNCIL AND I HAVE AGREED TO BAHN MALORT FROM THE HOUSEHOLD
I'm not into beards but apparently my vagina is.
Hey, what's a nice way of saying "Why'd you send me a picture of your boobs last night" without seeming ungrateful?
Dude come over...were drunk and I'm holding a T-shirt gun and discovered beer cans are the same size as rolled shirts.
That sounds good. I'd totally blow you somewhere quick but im not in the frame of mind to think of a place
Be outside in 5
Randomize
