So I feel really bad about last night...can i give you a blow job and we call it even?
right as i was about to introduce them she goes "old fuck buddy, meet new fuck buddy."
He told me he loved me mid lick. Anyone that can look at me from that angle, lick my vagina, and say they love me must absolutely mean it
You can't call dibs 8 years later.
You said your legs stopped working and then pulled yourself around the floor with your hands.
That explains the wood chips stuck in my nipples.
The cops busted down the door and everyone ran. I was just trying to find my shirt before I got arrested
Hit on in the middle of a Wal-Mart McDonald's by a really awkward nerd. There is not enough nope in the world.
I achieved the level of drunk I wanted even with the length of dress I was in..
Our house rule in beer pong, is that if you get the ball in the bitch cup.... you have to snapchat your balls to everyone on your friends list.
I thought I would be a proper lady and put my spare panties in a ziplock
That's actually very serious....I really do think of you whenever is see pizza
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
I just set my mike's hard down and didn't want it to spill, so I held my finger up and told it to shoosh. I'm drunk.
He made me ask permission to to cum and it made me cum.
He has to be employed and covid free. That’s my standard. I can’t be picky. 2020 has killed my sex life.
Randomize
