i was watching iron chef and got motivated, so i made dinosaur chicken nuggets
It was confusing and full of hummus
Come to me. Jacob is confessing his love and all I want is a hot dog. With chili. Not love.
I knew it was time to stop when you guys were playing a drinking game called "every three steps take a drink"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I love shooting for the middle. Those girls never wake up well.
You tried to fight everyone, so we kept having her take her shirt off. You were sufficiently distracted...
I woke up to see that I had ripped my boxers into a loin cloth because we were watching last of the mohicans
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
Congratulations, you have turned my vagina into a garden hose.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Alright if I email the police department asking for my mug shot do you think they will email it to me
You know the party's good when you say "Never have I ever caused an emergency landing" and someone drinks
We have a shopping cart in our front lawn. Also Mickey D's breakfast?
So, then you thought it was a good idea to dress up like the Hamburglar, buy a bag full of McDonalds hamburgers, go to Burger King and throw them at everyone while screaming "HAMBURGLAR!". At that point there was no stopping you.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
He makes me want to cheat on my other 3 boyfriends..
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