well that was a long night...
dude, you were pretty messed up... what happened?
no idea... but i still woke up with my pirate hat on
i cant decide if i should go fuck j*** or keep watching real genius
New moon trailer came on. Theater booed. I love these people.
I smoked weed with pregnant girl. I'm going to hell.
Alone. In an inflatable pool. Drinking vodka and raspberry lemonade. I don't need approval as much as I need to know you love me still.
Did you know there's no emoticon to really tell you that I just consumed a magic brownie?
Because it was 5am and I had a shitty mixed drink and I was threatening to put my balls in your face.
Not the worst first impression I've experienced.
If you die first, I'm going to sleep with a pallbearer at your funeral.
Need your help. Dad's drunk and trying to build a still in the basement.
NM he's asleep in a pile of towels. They need to ease people back into Hockey Night in Canada.
My final act is to send you this message. I love you. Tell my family that I love them. Except my dad. Tell him I said "Eh..." while rocking your hand side to side. And tell Tim that I will always love the idea of him. Tell Caleb I love him so. Take care of Miss Kitty Fantastico. Tell the world that I will watch over. Good bye. I love you.
How is there no taco emoji?! That's some bullshit.
Well I guess I'll go shower now and wash all the stripper off.
I was just trying to flirt with James Franco but she kept telling me to take shots out of Ron Burgundy's mouth
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
My mom is dancing slutty on the bar I need more drinks to be ok with this
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