Never write on a napkin "my face, your boobs" with your phone number and give it to a girl. Just a tip of the day from my nightly experiences lol.
We need to hang out more often
I plan on putting pajamas back on after I shower. Today is going to be awesome.
The only way im leaving this casino is in a golden chariot or an ambulance
No, don't worry. We're not going to get THAT arrested.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
We saw a kid playing in poison ivy. We walked away, he'll learn his lesson.
Besides, I'm not in my 30's. I'm still allowed to drink wine from a bag.
the cops didn't wanna shut the tailgate down but the strippers weren't allowed to take money without a license or somthing
I know. I almost started crying. IN WHAT UNIVERSE IS THAT A TURN ON?!
I don't even see the point of going over to his place dressed anymore.
I hope you fall on your chin.
Jealousy makes you ugly.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I've officially done it all, fucked a girl wearing a twister board. ABC parties are amazing!
How do I enter a double puke and rally into my calorie counter?
I just find it funny that nobody ever threatens to call the cops on us until we have a Harry Potter party
We're all just looking at each other quietly, hoping that no one brings up last nights shenanigans.
God I love dating single dads. They've got their shit at least a little bit together and there's always snacks after sex. #nakedfruitrollups
Just to let you know we went to the circus yesterday...in case you didn't remember
Randomize