(917) i just came from walking.
haha you just came from walking?
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
i sat alone in my bed and ate pizza and garlic fingers. The icing on the cake was hearing your moans from down the hall.
Just did ten shots in 8.34 minutes........ Slowly getting over the loss
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
i just found out the cashier has a picture of my junk in her phone.
Are you high right now?
is that a question or a drake reference?
You can't just leave with hair like that
I came home to him frying bacon to put in his beer. He said bacon beer lights, taste the awesomer rockies
Just had my butthole waxed. If that changes your plans for Saturday..
Waking up with cheese all over my clothes and my vibrator in my pants is a sign we drank way too much tequila last night
And I hope you're not misinterpreting us fucking as me trying to win you back. The sex is good and girls have needs.
Dad hid the hash somewhere in my room and wont tell me where it is until i clean it. My room is spotless. The hash was on the ceiling fan...
Starting to realize that fucking everyone I come across isn't the most... "adult"... coping method.
He’s like Batman if Batman went down on me and gave me multiple toe curling orgasms. He left without saying a word before I pulled the pillow off my face
Find out if he’s shared his techniques with a friend and set me up with him. You know I’ve always had a thing for Robin!!!!
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