if sarah has 12 dollars and spends 6 of it on cheap booze how much will she spend on hangover food the next morning?
4 on the dollar menu at mcdonalds
mom cant say that college never taught us math
I like to melt taper candles in my wine bottles the next day, it makes my drinking trophies more classy, and makes me look like less of an alcoholic.
just woke up face down in my kitchen covered in cheetos. my mom just stepped over me to get to the coffee maker. hello summer
Just once id like to sleep with a man who i havent thrown up on
Based on the pics I have taken of hookups while they were passed out or sleeping, I have scientifically concluded that no two vagina lips are the same. They are like snowflakes.
Me+graduation party+hammered drunk+polish horseshoes in the dark= black eye, crying, pissed, passed out in my dress... How was your weekend?
There's going to be a pool, lightsabers and alcohol. What could go wrong?!
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
My bed smells like stale sex...I want it to smell like fresh sex, I miss you.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I haven't been motivated enough for a shirt. And only half the day was bra-worthy.
Best walk of shame ever. Wearing a bright purple onesie, covered in smudged childrens make up, carrying my shoes and 1/4 sac of goon. I swear every house I walked past had an elderly couple watering their garden just to watch me
Well I just finished dry heaving so I think breakfast is a little further out for me
I wish more of my problems were easily solvable by taking a good long shit.
I'm too pretty to be this sexually frustrated.
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