She was so bad on top that i found myself watching a TV that wasn't even turned on
just smash crush and snort whatever we can get our paws on
I knew I fell for you for a reason
I wish i could sleep and get drunk at the same time...those are my 2 biggest needs right now
We need to start having sex underwater more often.
there's only 1 girl at Mount St Mary that's a virgin. the Mary statue standing outside
I didn't know it was possible to make picking up dog shit look sexy.
She did the bend and snap...
everything was going well until edgar threatened to handcuff the security guard to himself.
guess who's bored in chemistry researching how to sneak weed through airport security in her vagina?
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
Lets just make a point system, like if we have sex add a point, if they leave after take away a point, if they stay all fucking day take away a point
Nothing says "future AA member" like bonging 40's out of a plastic flamingo.
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
He finger blasted me like an angel dude
We banged in his car behind the burrito place. Google Maps keeps asking me to rate my visit. 5/5, would cum again.
His beard looks like it smells like beer, cocaine and old pussy juice
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