R you on birth control?
No, why?
...no reason
He looks like Jesus, if Jesus had let himself go.
dude we were spooning naked in bed with her ass in my crotch. she sharted in her sleep all over my dick.
oral is when you put your mouth on someones privates and play moterboat or popsicle
Planet Earth isn't gonna get stoned and watch itself.
He was singing Will Smith Just the Two of Us to his burrito. That high.
i was super drunk. to the point where i was putting shredded cheese on a fork, putting hot sauce on it then dipping it in salsa. it was awesome.
as much as i want to say no i cant cause i need the trophy wife training
currently waiting for her to check in on Facebook, the second she does I'm there. someone is getting laid tonight
I'm not stalking, she is pretty much begging me to come find her if she checks in
You're the third person who's asked me for an afternoon blow connection in one day. Unreal.
That's more of a you-issue than a me-issue
I think this bruise on my arm is actually an impression of your face
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
He ate me out while Space Jam was on. My life is complete.
All I remember about last st pattys day was I was in a bathtub with full bubbles, fully clothed, drinking out of a flamingo lawn ornament that someone cut a hole in.
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
Randomize
