the recession has oofficially hit my standards.
Great. There's a birthday party at work today. Now I can stand around and feel uncomfortable for an hour.
i would never do something against you youre the best i ever had
please tell me you did not just intentionally quote drake..
Post-sex chicken soup was such a good idea. It's been like an hour and I'm still applauding myself
Dude she looks like a female richard gere plus 400 pounds.
Just saw a homeless man taking a shower in someone's sprinkler system....
Who would have guessed that her hair would be so flammable
Do you think that my Facebook profile picture kinda look like im being raped by a 10 foot polar bear ?
i ran into my coworkers when i was walking home last night. i was shirtless. i think i gave my shirt to Walter. he's a cat.
im still drunk. birthday week begins.
Also I just learned you, Samantha, and I three-way made out at my Halloween party. News to me.
Oh yeah I remember when I first saw Kyler's balls. If there's anything high school swim prepared me for, it's the amount of testicles I would see here
Just sitting here contemplating the meaning of life.
So you're drunk waiting for the bus.
Where is Holly?
Nevermind. i can hear her having sex two doors down
Stoner thoughts are the only thoughts I want to have now.
I don't care. It's wine Wednesday get your gameface on.
Randomize
