apparently 9 shots of absynthe does not take away your skill to walk. i just woke up under a tree in some field on the other side of town with 4 hours missing.
Her boobs looked like leather oven mitts. No more cougar hunting for awhile.
He snuck into some random hotel's continental breakfast at 3 AM and then passed out on a bench in the lobby. When the cops found him they made him empty out his pockets. No phone, no ID just muffins.
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
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I knew I was in the wrong bar when "I have a daughter your age" was some random's pick up line.
i told them to call me paula dean as i was making all 10 for $10 boxes of pizza rolls in the microwave
i just sat down and hooked up with this girl. after she left i called over another girl and did the same. this happened about four more times and i never left my chair
ya she's here .. it looks like she just gave up and passed out on the floor
Just got a blowjob in her closet with two people sleeping outside in the room. I feel like the emperor of college.
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If anyone could figure out how to pee on someone's soul, it would be you.
You always know what to say to make me feel better.
I apologize for tapping your ass. It was a friendly tap. Like Casper. Ya know
Dude, where are you?
In back
of car
... whose car?
The shrooms were awesome. Everyone's bones in their face looked so beautiful! Everyone had great face structures.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
well, i found him passed out on a picnic table two miles away with a lit cig in his hand...he had a rough night
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