Sitting at a red light. Windows are down. I'm blasting Gaga's "Disco Stick" and doing an interpretive dance to it because I think I'm hilarious. Look to the left and see two Phi Delts that I know with their windows down. They are horrified. I am probably going to lose their Facebook friendships.
my affection for youporn is starting to get disturbing... i just thought about sending them a christmas card
I think misery doesn't even think of me as company anymore. I'm an unofficial roommate.
The state of Wisconsin is just irresponsible for letting me buy this many fireworks
All I need in life is some dick and a big mac.
I'm never telling my kids not to take ecstasy, never. Idk what my mom was thinking.
dude what did you give her she's eating her pocket lint
Nothing like puking into an empty cooler at a red light on the way to get plan b.
I feel like the devil slapped me in the face with his dick.
Birthday success
I'm 99.9% sure the people upstairs are using walki-talkies to talk to each other across the room. Too high for this shit
Are you coming to class or was the dick pic this morning your way of saying not today?
I actually feel bad for him. He has me as a girlfriend and he's like a saintly cleanly person... And I'm over here telling him to jizz on my back and shit.
I wrote an entire paper in under an hour about The Nightmare Before Christmas. I was also high as shit and pretty sure I dedicated half the page to the animation but still.
Shut the fuck up! I can hear you having sex over Pirates of the Caribbean you moaning whore.
Coffee and girl scout cookies. Breakfast of champions.
Get fucked.
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