Sandwiches eeeeeeverywhere.
So I accidentally txted this girl with the same name as the one im seeing, as it turns out shes still dtf
Fuck morning classes. Fuck early work. Fuck anything in the morning that doesn't involve sleeping, sex or bacon.
Do you ever just look at me and get embarrassed?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
First if all, whoever designed penis shaped ice cubes is clearly daring me to shove them up my vagina
And then you'll find yourself a hot chick and leave me behind with nothing but my back fat to keep me company.
Oh god our sink is a cavalcade of horrors. Brb sacrificing a goat and putting everything in the dishwasher forever
Apparently I'm the last girl he had sex with. That was over a month ago. If he can go that long without sex then he's clearly not the guy for me
Chipotle. Because when you've had diarrhea for 6 days why not just make it 7
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
The Medal of Honor you banged could be at the inauguration today. You really dropped the ball on keeping up with that one.
Right, try not to commit a felony that costs more than 4 dollars cause that's all I have in my bail jar.
We single women of America need to make America great again by refusing to fuck anyone who supports Trump.
It's almost like he's actually taking my commentary and criticism to heart, but simultaneously succumbing to some primal urge to wear less clothing each time.
Man, I'm real high and googling what all my favorite figure skaters from childhood are doing now.
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
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