This house was built for laser tag.
I shagged another guy with one ball last night. Are there really that many dudes with one nut in la or am I just a magnet for prostetic testes?
It was mandatory to shotgun a beer before we were allowed to eat dinner
I really hope he dies in a tragic kegstand mishap
Judging by the hole in the wall by the door, the mis-matched shoes by the door, and the door hanging off one hinge... i'd say he's on the loose.
I just had a brazillian performed by a hungarian named olga. Im pretty sure she was trying to rip out my soul. You owe me a million orgasms
He came to the party late, didn't bring tacos, and then asked what shennanigans we were getting into. I swear I will never fuck another hipster.
if I was any more soft right now, my penis would be a liquid
This is what you sent me from the other side of the pool, "Idk but thers a pool n l wanna get naked take off my trunks ill paddle with my dick"
Just recreated a sandwich from the caf in my own kitchen. Graduation denial at it's finest.
There was a trampoline and tequila. It was glorious.
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
All I'm saying is that if you have time for a 20 min shower bj you have time for me
We played Rock Paper Scissors to see who would have to go down on the other person.
I am about five seconds from ripping off my clothes and throwing myself into the ocean to become a mermaid
Randomize
