Do you think there is vodka in heaven?
you let me eat a milky way from your vagina. G is not lettin you hang out for eternity
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
just saw bouncers outside a coffee shop. beginning to question humanity.
just walked past a girl in her cap and gown puking her brains out beside a tree. her friends were taking pictures of her.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
just as they were cutting his pants off he made em stop & said "everyone knows about shrinkage right".
drunk. just smoked a spliff with a 19yr old hungarian bike taxi driver and bonded over the difficulties of getting weed in a different country. idk y shit like this isnt in the study abroad info packets
Indeed. The kind of morning where puking in someone's shoes is not frowned upon
Well, I just did coke with a drag queen in a bathroom so that's the direction this night is taking
YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU CAUGHT A TAXI HOME. SARAH SAID THE POLICE DROPPED YOU OFF.
You realize we were screaming in the car about our apartment next year because we can "bring home randoms whenever we want" and "stare at each other from our door ways"
I'm sorry I never said I wasn't coming home last night. To my defense I did type and send a text, only I was too drunk to realize I sent it to the guy I was with instead of you.
Just took physics exam. I think this is one of those 'chuck it in the fuck-it bucket and become an art major' days
I got so drunk that I peed my bed...and all over him. The ironic thing is that he slept in his swimming trunks.
That was a beautiful concert to sleep through ...
I know - Don't let me take drugs from strangers anymore
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