You have problems? I'm 20 years old and i'm balding
He was such a tease, he pulled out his dick, let me touch it then put it away
It didn't get weird until she took off her underwear, looked down, and said "fill her up!"
Any coincidence your getting married tomorrow and it's the most predicted day for the rapture? Just saying
I paid some man $10 for his shirt last night cause I liked it. Explains that. Bought the jackolope head from a street vendor. Got invited to someone's hotel rooftop swimming pool which explains why I was in my bathing suit. My clothes from last night are MIA. Going over the border with no pants on is awkward. Origins of the car rim still mysterious.
My eyes feel like they're throwing up and I am the only human on campus
You can't tell me you've honestly NEVER considered smoking a Froot Loop
Last night I dressed up as a cowgirl and walked into McDonald's. I bought 20 mcribs. There's pictures
I gave you the craziest sex experiences of your life, the least you could do is let me keep the sweater.
I STILL HAVE A HARD TIME DECIDING WHAT TO WEAR IN THE MORNING HOW WOULD IT BE POSSIBLE FOR ME TO PICK A PAIR OF PANTS AND GO OH ILL JUST WEAR THESE FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE
How do you clean puke off a stuffed bear?
If you're into enormous nipples, you should ask out my office's receptionist.
Greattt I just sexted my dad trying to write u back
The sex was so good we high-fived after.
Remember how I was complaining about how no guy has ever gotten me off?
Randomize
