Is it possible to jerk off a nipple?
just peed in the tub, threw it on Megan.. she threw more back, I got out and threw toilet water on her.. forecast for tomorrow? pink eye.
So my mom just called me into her room and showed me a condom wrapper she found in my room. "Oh that's from when I was like 16." I don't think that was very comforting.
You told the cops that they couldn't arrest you because they weren't hot enough to fuck
Thats my favorite, when ex girlfriends become XL ex girlfriends
Dude, can't find my socks anywhere....
Yeah, you took a shit in the harbor off a wall, used them to wipe. I'm sure they're still on the beach somewhere if you really want them back
i just sold back the books i vomitted on
he made me have a moment of silence for the half of my ice cream cone i threw away.
That's not how these arrangements work. You don't buy each other stuff unless you break a sex toy. End of story.
Btw after this weekend the chipndales costume has a 125% success rate.
We won 11 games of beer pong, and then I spent a half hour trying to get into the top bunk. Then i realized it was a cabinet in the bathroom
Just followed a blind kid around for 20 minutes to see how awesome his guide dog was. And he was pretty fucking awesome
I hope so much that you got average or above average dick tonight because I wish you the best
He told me he would make me come so hard I would throw up. I'm actually horrified that he thinks that's something any person would want
The hangover struggle is to real, just passed the drive thru window. Twice.
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