Yes, it's true. 4 fingers.
Ok. In one sink is a hairdrier. Still plugged in. The other is filled with broken glass. What do I do?!
Nvm. Bloody hand trumps dead. Also, where is gauze.
We had sex after spending two hours in the drunk tank. It was really deep and meaningful
they bet me shots that I couldn't give people piggyback rides around the club just cause I'm 125lbs and a girl...I had a line forming after the third guy.
You're really doing everyone a disservice by wearing pants all the time.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
I hate vagina strikes, but I must not stray from my path. My boyfriend will know the true meaning of blue balls.
You've never really lived until you tell someone you have an STD over snap chat.
So I spent all night thinking my bed was floating down a river and telling the cats to get on the bed because they were going to float away. Percocet is strong shit.
Some male strippers are here, I threw pancakes at them. It's ok
I feel like my vagina was just in a fistfight.
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
He had a cruise ship of a dick and I need to set sail on that ocean again
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
Randomize
