yeah i like to chase my xanax with prozac and then viagra. you're up...and then you're UP
well, atleast the road to alcoholism is fun.
I wish you could buy pregnancy test at the liquor store, it's the only place I feel comfortable being a disgrace because I know they understand why it happened...
It's always a surprise to see what songs I shazamed and downloaded last night while we were drunk at the bar.
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i'm about to rub a glazed donut on my face just so it feels like you're here
don't tell me about being eco-friendly. i just threw up in the same bag i bought my liquor in. RECYCLING
It is 9pm, let the ass parade to the bars begin
Do not shit in our house. There is no TP. I am walking to get more, if I do not return, I have probably died of dysentery after my last wagon wheel got stuck in a gulch. Tell Martha and Lou Ann that I love them, and that I passed away doing the Lord's work.
He picked me up in the very car he devirginized me in, his moms toyota.
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This is not my bathroom and these are not my pants
We are such grown women, dealing with life's problems one shower beer and reckless makeout session at a time.
Let's not share with anyone else in the apartment of how we simultaneously peed in the kitchen sink last night.....
When the bouncer wouldn't let you back in you screamed "Authority is not given you to deny the return of the king!" and ran past him.
I hate that I still want him to look at me as the vagina that got away.
Here’s how sick I am. I’m not hungry. I don’t want coffee. And I don’t want dick. So, you know it’s bad.
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