SHE has hooked up with both me and my sister. I don't even know what to say. If she goes for my parents next I may have to kill her
Just pulled over to throw up in a day care parking lot while the kids were outside playing. The adults were mortified.
Def drinking wine from a 4 liter jug at 11 am. If i call you in 20 years talking about 12 steps, please trace is back to this moment.
I have Retrograde Ejaculation as a side effect from one of my meds. Is this a respectable form of birth control?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i wanted to ask her what his dick looked like but i thought that would be weird for the first time i met her
How was your weekend?
The sex was so good. It hurts to exist.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
I think i just fucked the same guy a second time without realizing it....does that make me a good whore or a bad whore???
I was busy. But now I'm about to consume alcohol and chicken. We shall see where this takes us. Maybe to the moon, maybe to the floor. I have no idea.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Packing a mid day bowl in the Sonic parking lot. Have I gone too stoner?
this is definitely the first time I've ever had an orgasm and then had potatoes smeared on me within the same hour
As much as I enjoyed playing drunk half naked twister and talking about my daddy issues last time, I'll have to pass.
We need to get Harry and Lloyd's tuxedos from Dumb and Dumber. I feel like this is a vital thing that is missing from our lives.
reminiscing on last night: why the fuck did I feel the need to stand on chairs everytime we took a jello shot?
we went to the skate park then back to her house for dinner, and somehow that ended with her making me blueberry pancakes at 2am
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