i wish i could watch tv and lissten to music at the same time...but still understand both
i think otters can do that
Megan Fox is the only woman I would let pee on me.
I'm similar. She's the only woman I'd ask to pee on me.
Ok yeah you're right. I'd ASK Megan Fox to pee on me. I'd ALLOW Erin Andrews to pee on me if she asked.
I decided it would be a good time to smoke on one of my deliveries but then I got the munchies and ate a piece of the pizza I was freaking out so I told him it was our new pacman pizza
how do u look a man in the eye when u own both his daughters V-Cards?
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I would not wish his dick upon my worst enemy
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
I told him he could fuck me once he could grow a beard. Never expected seeing him ten years later with a goatee and a great memory...
However today I got my lube that might I add was dripping out of the box. I'd like to think my mailman was mixing business with pleasure.
If I have to go to the hospital, at least put my pants back on. It's been a fantastic night.
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I need to have sex. It's becoming like a matter of public safety.
I was so drunk last night I asked a rando at the bar to take a picture with me cause I thought he was in the band
My boobs are numb because I've been using them as stress balls
Can't feel body but making pizza rolls
Somehow I went from sitting in a car upside down to waking up in the grass surounded by paramedics. It was a great night.
PSA. Do not shart while wearing a jock strap at work. That is all.
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