Yeah i wasn't gonna go out but then i was like im not gonna get my dick wet stayin at home studying
I hate when people I sell to add me on Facebook. I'm your dealer, not your friend, C'mon people.
The irony of calling it Pride is that you do things that no one should be proud of.
Fuuuuck. Forgot it's October. FYI scarecrows are gonna fuck you up when you're driving high
Definitely Got caught hugging a strangers tree last night with 5 others.
He professed his love for me while I danced on a picnic table with a bottle of Absolut. I said thank you and walked away.
You were running around waving the flier in everyone's face and thats how we ended up in a church eating free breakfast tacos at 3 am
We'll just charge in there, all pant less and fabulous demanding he give back her ferret.
The guys in the quick check just recognized me as the girl who bought rolling papers and whipped cream. This is the walk of shame on crack.
Rather than admit to myself I've spent $756 at the bar this month, I'm just going to pretend I gave it to a homeless person...kind of makes me feel better.
We literally solved our fight using cat pictures on Instagram. True love.
Can I put tequila in the fish bowl? I think he wants to party too
IF YOU HAVE THE CHANCE TO HIT THAT, AND YOU DON'T, I WILL FUCKING CRUCIFY YOU.
You're such a supportive sister.
Do you think it would be weird to add her on Facebook?
You just commited a felony act together, I honestly think we're beyond this.
You know those times when you're sitting down for a while and r like damn I'm sober but then stand up and r like WOAH HOLD UP.
Randomize
