im insabelyl wasted and diont know if ill yexyed tou. call me
Gte hit a new low, I took a poopnap, passed out mid poop on the toilet.
it's like everything I expected to see tonight all put together in one at once
that is the greatest description ever
she has a miserable personality but its a good think you dont have sex with that
pussy has no personality
Amen to that
I will return your cat, I saw a mouse in my apt last night and your door was unlocked, it seemed really practical
It was tug of war between me and the cop. He wanted the beer, I wanted the coozie.
when life gives you lemons, puke and rally.
Ok John needs to move to the other side of the county. I do not like to be approached for a blow job in the produce section of Holiday Market.
Anal and Aoki tickets...I'd say I give pretty good Valentines Day gifts.
I had to show the prof your text saying that I could pick up your midterm for you. I covered the part of the screen saying you weren't there because you were about to have morning choke sex.
I threw a hotdog at the security guard and called the bartender "goodlooking for a 35 year old who was rode hard and put away wet"... I would have kicked me out too
I haven't showered. And am sitting in the office smelling like a beer can someone's been using as an ash tray.
I'm glad you had fun with your genitals.
i told someone my fallback plan was to be a slutty bartender and i needed the practice as i straddled them to pour a shot
I really wish you were home bc youre the only friend I could ask to use an at home waxing kit on my vagina. I need you.
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