May have finally hit rock bottom...bouncer from the strip club informed me I wore the same shirt last night
I don't wanna do a drive in or see a movie tonight. I wanna play some Golden Tee and butt fuck a girl in the bathroom of some bar and proceed with Golden Tee
Who is John, and why is his named carved into our toilet?
she had condoms in her med. cabinet - magnums -I don't think I'm tall enough for this ride
Do fat girls normaly have fat that look like a penis by their pussy?
What the hell did you do last night?!
Dont have access to internet. masturbating to shake weight commercial.
I'm so horny
I have no idea who this is, but I'm up for a lecture on self-respect
youre just mad i got the high score on the breathalyzer
The best part about being single is knowing how much everyone secretly creeps behind their gf/bfs back. You wouldn't believe..Have a great date night!
Did we almost burn down the bar last night? I guess flaming shots were a bad idea.
When you get a chance, you should call Nick. He REEAAAALLLLLY wants to hear you make chewbacca noises.
After a roaring rendition of Jay-Z's "99 Problems but a bitch ain't one" I ended up making her cry on her birthday.
If my dick was big enough to fuck the eye of a hurricane, I would.
It must be love. I'm deleting my porn for him.
He's watching Always Sunny and eating refried beans straight from the can.
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