I'm actually pretty neutral about a lot of things. I'm like Switzerland with a penis.
I opened my browser to a doctor page titled "serious pain under left side of ribcage". Last night must have been healthy.
Whats a good hint for stop bitching im gonna give you head
These hangoverless Sunday mornings are becoming too regular.
Do you remember that time on the drunk bus when I kept thanking the bus driver for serving our country?
I saved him as teletubby in my phone....that can't be a good sign. I'm not answering.
So watch family guy till our brains melt and then bang till our bodies hurt?
I almost lit my balls on fire tonight.
That number that I thought was that dude's number...was actually my district manager's number. Fuckkkk.
She screamed at us, "You guys need to wake up and smell the beer-bong!"
Your level of morning after guilt is too much right now. Do less.
If you don't come home and fuck me soon I'm walking over there naked and dragging you home by your penis
We ended up shitfaced at the house after the Super Bowl trying to get someone from Scientology on the phone.
You think I could convince him that having sex with another girl isn't cheating?
She started crying because the Rugrats grew up
Randomize
