'hiiiigh' is saved in my t9 for a reason
There was something that i liked about you, but you spent it
I mean she's dancing like an epileptic patato and i'd like to slap her
ugh.. my birth control just came out of my nose. wtf?
If you don't sleep with him after showing him your thong with the bow, I am no longer on your side.
i am exhausted. it's been years. we both know his dick is small. the jig is up.
i'm pretty sure they aren't charging me for that window i broke with a turkey sandwich while i was hammered.
Drunk me needs to be reminded of my sexual preferences.
at least it wasnt animals
It was going alright when lo and behold Tom the cock blocking tornado hits. He is the only man I know who doesn't want anyone to fuck girls.
Nursing home in NJ just got busted for prostitution and drugs...dropping off my deposit tomorrow
FYI: Brian said he left me in the bathroom Friday night to shower and 45 minutes later found me with a towel around my head, my pants on and holding my boobs. No more Jell-O shots for me.
I smell like a skunk, but I'm okay with that.
He finally delivered on the dick pic, and Jesus Christ, it was worth the wait.
Only in the emergency room do they shut the door when youre laughing too hard
what the fuck happened to the tacos
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