I'm cheating on the girl I'm cheating on my girlfriend with
it was a mass text i'm sorry
do you usually send 'hey sexy' as a mass text?
I think you should know he took my pants (buttons and zippers included) and my thong off with his mouth alone. I found my husband
Life lesson: Don't give a drunk girl a dutch oven after having taco bell. She puked all over my pillow. Funny as hell though.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just got sparklers from my secret santa. Drunken sledding just got to a whole new level of dangerous
I'm pretty sure my penis yawned halfway through. That loose.
No.. It's totally over.. He deleted the poke I sent him.. That makes it official.
being able to look good while almost puking is a skill that takes a lot of puking to develop.
How did you get the entire couch up on it's side and into the bathroom?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He came inside me, looked me in the eye and said, "Happy Mother's Day"
Was just messaged by someone in a Power Ranger suit on OkCupid... Figured you would approve
i got home safe but then alex started a fire so now we're at the hospital
Came out of blackout state to the curtains torn down & the headboard laid on top of him. & yes he was still breathing
As I was blowing him, he proceeded to tell me that his friend who I blew years ago gave me a five star review on my BJ skills. And, he agrees.
Atta girl.
IDK if she's gay or not, but there is something about the way she looks at me that says "do dirty dirty things to me." I have no choice but to oblige.
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