no, there's no challenge. I live a humble lifestyle out of virtue.
You wear Armani Exchange.
it was almost as awkward as hearing my parents on friday nights in 2 in the morning starting, and than hearing at 2:01 my dad getting up and my mom going "i should have married a man"
I hate myself for saying your mom and I have the same friday nights.
don't worry... so do I
I just needed to know whether or not to wear panties to work tomorrow.
before i die, we are going to oregon and playing oregon trails for real. like putting things in a hat & people will pull out whether they live or die. and they die of fun things like typhoid, dysentary, or hunting accident.
The parties out here are fucking awesome and I've got the grades to prove it.
Two man bar crawl was hectic. Just found leaves in my pocket.
Tell him I thought his Superman stand on your bed and cum all over your back was quite funny
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
OH DEAR GOD. He looks like if u licked him he'd taste like bourbon, sex and sunshine.
If I end up in a healthy relationship because of this, I will NEVER forgive you!!!
I'm literally beginning to think that my sex dreams are prophesies
I'm too pretty to go to jail. Especially in Louisiana.
I told the border patrol officer she was smuggling drugs in her ass. I doubt she cheats on me again.
Question: anytime during the past week did I drunk dial you and give you full permission to grab my boobs? Cus I know I said it I just don't remember who I said it to...
I was peer pressured into smoking weed by a bunch of LGBTQ teenagers
Randomize
