i just had sex bonerless
well apparently i yelled MY VAGINA WAS ANNIHILATED and his whole family heard
Microwaved placenta is very unpleasant.
if you can see her tanning goggle line that's officially a deal breaker
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You asked me to be the big spoon, when you passed out on the stairs
i have now been nicknamed the screamer on the first, third, fourth, & six floor by all the ra's. only two more floors to go before i cover the entire dorm.
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
I need a vacation from myself..this is duely noted after I tried giving myself a concussion last night
I think we got naked. I can't remember but if you have "friends" written on your ass, then we did. Because I have "best" on mine.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I faked an orgasm during phone sex last night. This relationship is starting to become real.
He wouldn't stop calling me so I sent him a text saying "I'm dead. Dead. Leave me alone." And he replied with "so can I see you then?"
I just did a walk of shame on my own block. one of the old neighbors saw and greeted me "good morning, girl next door"
so he's a sleeptalker.
yeah??
"Mitochondria is the powerhouse of the cell" right in my ear. 2 am.
Ugh. It's days like these that make me wish my bad habits would kill me faster
I know she’s pissed I fucked her husband, but I didn’t know he was married until after I blew him at Legoland
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