Just made a coke joke and literally drooled on myself. How do we feel about pavlov's theory of conditioning now?
there was a fucking fire juggler. but it was ok bc i was in the kiddie pool and it was the safe zone
You were hanging upside down on the subway with your feet in the stirrup handle bars. the children were amused.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
seriously, i never want to drink Robitussin again. her face was melting as i tried to convince her i wasnt high and i probably would have fucked ray. his parents thought i was a sweet charming lesbian.
This is why you are not allowed out in public.
Confirm that you received these messages so that I know you feel the agony of my vagina. There is such a thing as "too many penises".
This morning confirmed it...there's no maybe about it. She definitely wasn't born with it. It was definitely the Maybelline.
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I ate icecream cake off your tits for my birthday, if that's not love I don't know what is.
I literally have nothing else left to cut besides my drug budget; the dark days are among us
Yeah, nothing like barfing into a grocery bag you just put dog shit into.
I sense naked hashbrown eating in my near future.
I wanna riverboat gamble on your vaginal waters. Just sayin
Tequila. The ruiner of all good intentions.
Oral sex and brunch. The perfect sunday morning.
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