Idk. We dropped acid and Kevin ran away again. We didn't find him for like 3 hours.
Man I wish I had been there
Yah we found him in the pool shed of some elderly couple. They were on the porch watching all of the shenanigans. ...To be young again.
Defrosting my mini wheats in the microwave was a bad choice
He was sweet. He even warned me that his dick curved, and I quote, "more than a banana."
The guys had to come into the bar bathroom and pep talk us all off the floor
well, duh, but it's like you don't even want to see me masturbate with a wine bottle.
Edward fifth and chaser hands
Okay wait let me power puke and then we can go dancing
Good thing I took the morning after pill cuz I pretty much had packaged seamen in me like I was a squirrel saving it for later or something
my mouth is as dry as a post-menopausal camel on antidepressant's vagina.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
He's like a father figure to me, except we have casual drunk sex every now and then
BRING THE BAGELS
IS NO AN EMOTION BECAUSE THAT'S WHAT I'M FEELING RIGHT NOW
I got the beer and the first aid kit. You get the tequila and burn cream. We should be set for the camping trip.
He left cushions on my floor, chocolate on my bra and unexplained scratches on my thighs. I think this one might get a second date.
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