You just left with that feminine looking guy you kept calling "Jessica." Just giving the heads up.
I envy your ability to put any word in front o the word beer and make drinking before 5 sound like a socially sanctioned event.
In case you were wondering, you weren't dreaming. I really did get stuck between my bed and the wall last night.
I'm taking child development now so if you get pregnant i can raise your child no worries
I just sneezed and it tasted like taco bell.
I dont know, but the way you were flopping around and gurgling made me scared that you were actually drowning in the carpet.
Watching elf, eating a tub of ice cream, and coming to terms with the fact that I haven't had sex in 5 months. Happy fucking holidays.
Hahahahaha. That's what your stoned ass gets for eating half a bag of processed cheese at 2am.
Noo.... Like in the attic of a crack house with nitrous and fat chicks weird....
Are we on the same shift tomorrow and more importantly do you want your pants back?
I just got my evaluation. My manager told me he hated my guts and pretty much wanted to stab me in the face. Then he gave me an "exceeds expectations" on pretty much everything and a raise.
Sometimes the gods of alcohol choose to take you on a mysterious journey and you just have to go with it
My old dealer would be proud of the drug cocktail I just took for my back pain.
You haven't demanded nudes today. You alright?
I'm sorry I called your mother a reasonably-priced receptacle.
Randomize
