Now it won't go down.
You've got a gift.
You know, sometimes I seriously doubt your commitment to sparkle motion.
Last night i was so high that i came home and did a taste test of every vitamin water and wrote theyre grade down on paper.
I just saw Sharon Stone's cootch in high def. I think I'll stay gay.
The more I hate his personality, the more I love his penis.
Try and take me seriously and don't look directly at my hair or the jizz on my pants.
well that explains the french fry and ketchup packet rolled into the wasitband of my sweats. thank you drunk me.
I'm going on a valentine's date with the random guy i hooked up with in the bar bathroom this weekend...i feel like julia roberts
Drunk me forgot I'm not an 18yr old raver anymore. Adult me is now in pain.
We tried to make ramen in a glass bowl on the stove. They called facilities to pick the glass out of the door
I got inside last night via doggy door
She told me she was the Publishers Clearing House of Dicks. Two dicks a day, everyday for life.
I'm about to eat a 2month old weed brownie I just found in my lax duffel bag. will you answer if I call you in like an hour and a half
He was fingering me and I came so hard that I actually broke his wrist. We're at the ER now.
is it fun? or sober?
Randomize
