Don't get me started, it sucks when the one thing you have in common with a girl is not wanting penis inside you.
plan parent hood is for high school, im at the abortion clinic, so college.
i wrote her a fucking poem. i better get laid for that
Damn it if I pass out in the bathroom one more time this month im going to rehab...
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
I'm sure I'm not the FIRST newly single girl to table dance at a family restaurant.
there's a girl in the coffee shop just eating a pint of ben & jerry's
SMART GIRL
But he buys me breakfast and goes down on me THATS HARD TO FIND
I can't even properly respond cuz I'm ballsdeep in falafel
Well you were hungry, by then you cried and called yourself a basic bitch for eating crackers
Just FYI....you totally yelled out Royals while we were having sex last night lol.
I wish there was an emoji for sad lady boners
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
It's not "nice." It's the supermodel of dicks.
My ovaries melted while we were talking. I almost told him I would suck his soul out through his dick
That would be a memorable parent teacher conference for sure
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