This is your typical "sorry i got drunk and tried to seduce you into having sex while you were throwing up" text.
I met the nicest Tranny last night. He/She loves Cheetos.
school has made you so classy.
that's mcgill. producing sluts since 1884.
he is literally lying on the floor eating cookies. doing nothing. and as i was hitting him he needed to protect the cookies more than himself.
Weird question, would you want to do fetish porn? you get paid.
eat the baked goods on the counter at your own risk... i made them while i was angry and drunk so they most likely have pubes in them
don't be alarmed if you come back and i'm passed out drunk and naked cuddling with the franzia.
I probably looked like a mental patient. I had my IV in one hand and cup of pee in the other, swaying around with a dazed grin on my face. I love vicodin.
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
Eating nacho cheese off the carpet. How is your morning?
I had sex with a Dutch boy on a rock last night. Happy graduation! x x
What wine did you feed Jack? Might not want to waste the good stuff on kitties. Kitties only get box wine.
Need you on the dancefloor. Hungry and lonely.
You walked around in your costume going up to every guy saying "I'm a squirrel, give me your nuts"
I think my stomach is breaking up with me. It's giving me back everything I ever gave it.
Randomize
