If a girl is wearing Ed Hardy from head to toe, does that make her a douchebagette?
He uses pillows to masturbate.
Call me at 7:30 and make sure I'm not asleep in this booth at Waffle House.
I didn't think it was possible but there may actually be TOO MANY pictures of me tagged shotgunning.
today's the one month anniversary of me not giving anyone head. can you tell me you're proud
it's sad that this is a milestone
i just figured out how to balance my wine bottle on my boobs so that i don't have to tip it with my hands...breathing has new meaning
This is absurd. I need a man. Or even a moderately-clean hobo will do at this point.
Think I pulled my pelvic muscle.
I think I pulled my ashamed of myself muscle.
Tommorow.Eggs Benedict and surprise blowjob day
While eating post sex burritos I dripped taco bell sauce on my boob. He licked it off and asked why I hadn't thought of that before.
You came home And decided to make beer battered bacon... That's why there was smoke
I kinda got drunk and threw my debit card into a bonfire so I don't have any money at the moment lol.
lets start a news segment called WHY IS LEOS CROTCH BURNING TODAY
Sex was great. Left his house while he was asleep but on the plus side I was able to get gas station food.
Just once, can I please come back to a room that doesn't smell like beer and cum?
Randomize
