He tried. I said no. He said, "It's ok if I do this?" and proceeded to jerk himself off. Oh, the French.
and I didnt even know his name until this morning when we were laying in bed and he referred to himself in the 3rd person.
Just did my hair and make up at mcdonalds so we're in the same boat.
Dude, you walked in on me 5 times each times you had a different person with you. And each time you lifted the covers up and said 'whats going on in here'
Hannah wants to know if she cant borrow your stats notes because she threw up on hers.
We carried on a casual conversation about plants while I gave him a hand job.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
Yes he was puking but in the only light of the whole parking lot and he was resting in the patch of clovers and he just was a garden fairy
I'm starting to think you fell asleep on your kitchen floor pantless with salsa spilt around you
He came when Ron Burgundy started playing the jazz flute. How do you think it went?
I got really upset about missing him last night when I was demonstrating penis sizes of the people I've slept with using a tape measurer to my roommates
Go have fun. I'm gonna go shower off the regret.
At least you didn't sleep with Ashley's uncle.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
It's fucking 2020, I should be able to watch Netflix in the buff while making brownies without you getting preachy about it.
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