i think i may have caused an international incident at the french embassy, just fyi
hahaha how?
its a long story involving a horse trailer and some shrubbery
If the Four Horseman of the Apocalypse gang banged each other and had a kid, it would look like the creature I woke up next to this morning.
Let's play a little game called "Chill the Fuck Out" - you're our first contestant
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
It took me 6months to figure out that he only had one testicle.
I bet it kind of sucks while you do community service I'm getting blown in the shower. haha
Nah its cool some of my cousins have fucked the same girls and brought them on family vacations and everything.
He keeps texting me videos of fish swimming in his fish tank, so I think it's safe to say he's back on weed.
The $10 cab ride turned into a $60 cab ride when you puked down the back of his seat trying to whisper in his ear. He was a trooper though, he came into to wash off in the sink and still tried to get your number.
You chucked an empty vodka bottle against the wall and yelled "Everyone calm the fuck down, it's just the cops." After 10 seconds of silence I looked over and saw you pissing their fountain.
there are no losers in shot checkers. only winners.
Honestly I have a huge freedom boner right now and if I came it would be red white and blue
I think this Canadian beach volleyball player might be my soulmate. We could check each other's shoulders for melanoma.
This girls ass literally just fell out of her jeans in front on me on the escalator. Going commando on a Monday morning is a bold move.
Word. I want it involving like... sing-a-longs and sniffing glue.
Randomize
