Facials are how you say "I love you" in porn star.
My life has hit rock bottom, I'm watching a movie on lifetime about retarded people falling in love. And I'm jealous of their relationship.
that's the nicest way anyone's ever asked me to send them naked pics before...
I need to stop fucking people before I get to know them
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Just because Aaron is a gender neutral name does not mean I am letting you name your baby after a drug dealer
like he couldn't stop by and throw me in the back seat and ask for a blowjob? he had to give me flowers?
I like the odds of his and my children being professional athletes too. To support me in my old age, see I do think about the future.
That final makes me want to drink myself into the fetal position
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Something like that. Healthy diet of beer, ranch sunflower seeds and sex keeps me young.
Hoping to get a pic of me on the tractor with an erection for you one of these days.
Me and Jason had to grab your legs and arms and drag you in the house. You kept screaming "leave me for dead"
SO AWKS THEY ARE HAVING A COUPLE FIGHT AND I JUST WANT PIZZA
I'm not strong. I'm hormonal, sad, lonely, and trying to get laid via tinder
he bought me ice cream then took me home and fucked the shit outta me. you can't write this kinda romance.
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