Vegas for my brothers bachelor party. Just landed and I have a boner. I'm giggly and teary eyed I'm so excited.
She hadn't heard about the oil spill. She gave dumb blondes a whole new standard to aim for. I did her anyway...but that isn't the point.
Saw a guy throw up on himself while walking, drinking, and singing all at the same time. Hope your night is going better than his :)
you went over to those random dudes and told them you were an ordained minister and would like to bless their food. they laughed and agreed, then you said "now bow your heads in prayer" as soon as they did you grabbed a taco off their tray and bolted out the door.
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There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
I just watch that 70s show all day and blaze whenever they do. It's nice being part of the circle
Boobs are out for the taking
Come to Des Moines on Saturday, handcuff yourself to me and drink a bottle of vodka
The little girl I'm babysitting is having a tea party, the water and chips she's passing out are doing wonders for my hangover.
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We hooked up last night. I think it was great for our friendship.
My parents get here at 6 so I have to make it look like a sober virgin lives in my room by 5.
Definitely accidentally brought drugs into Disneyland. Considering using them.
Great, now even dream!me is a drunken borderline mess.
i think i'm just going to start having sex with his brother, he's much hotter and it would definately be less illegal.
Ben Franklin would totally be a furry.
You're smoking weed and checking Tumblr I take it?
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