Why would I want to inherit a sex machine used by my grandma?
dude, my own friends sent me home from a party last night. real cool assholes. real cool
he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
A guy on the street just growled at me and said damnnnn. Sometimes it scares me how attractive i am.
U sang "shots, shots, shots" then walked 2 ur top drawer and threw socks everywhere singin "SOCKS, SOCKS, SOCKS!"
I just want a better ending for myself. Not walking around with one sock on and my bush hanging out.
my life has come down to walking through campus and wondering if every guy is the random i made out with saturday
Waking up in a pool chair wrapped in toilet paper is not what I planned when I agreed to movie night
My sister came home, pulled two nalgene bottles of jaeger-bomb out of the fridge, changed out her 3 inch heels for 6 inch heels and left in under 3 minutes. I've never been more proud of her.
im just gonna lie here and collect money in this whoppers bag while sprawled out on this bench and explain that its to buy weed for my hangover
Jen's arm is stuck between a wall and her bed. She's naked and needs someone to go help her.
tell your freshman friends. will trade sexual favors for swipes. ive got dinner tomorrow open and lunch on wed
I'm watching Russian dudes pole-dance. For research.
I don't think meeting his drug dealers counts as a relationship landmark.
I'll be naked. By 11. Then arrested. Drunk tank adventures
Randomize
