The greatest thing of my life happened today. I took a shit and it formed a smiley face. It's going to be a fucking fantastic day.
i'm wearing my white shorts to coax my period out of hiding.
All we had was a keg so we played edward nalgene-hands
Leave it to him to get us kicked out of a bar for hitting on an 80 year old woman. I want to be that wasted one day.
What a whore. She reminds me of that asian guy who can eat all the hotdogs.
Vodka @ 9pm. Library. Nothing can go wrong, I promise.
The heaters out again. Makin a fire in thebroke toilet for warmth.
As a jewish boy dating her she thinks everypart of christmas is my first time. Helllllo bj under mistletoe!!
He never gives up. He's like the fucking little engine that could of hook ups
This is irresponsible on your part, leaving me alone in a bar.
So apparently blacked out me judges a man based on what type of dinosaur he would be...
Beer bonging to Ave Maria
I'm to sober to make life ruining decisions and alcohol is to expensive at this bar for me to fear that level of drunk happening
I couldn't find a lighter, so I smoked a bowl with a birthday candle.
He had a hook in his ceiling. I think I'm in love!
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