well most of my day revolves around power hour
i dont care if i have to wear a pillow case, there will be an open bar at my wedding
I just found out my boyfriend is cheating on me, please tell me Carl is a unisex name.
i was staring at it trying to desperately see a vagina
Stop making excuses. You can be here in 5 and cumming in 10
OMG the post office opened my dildo! "we sincerely regret the damage to your package"
I just had to tell her that no she really doesnt need to sneak pizza from mcmurrays out in a plastic bag for me later
2 things. 1. I just gave her a 6 hour long marathon fucking for America. 2. Thought of a new invention halfway through, and it's flawless.
I would like to apologize for my MANY attempts of trying to motor boat you.
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
I can't wait till we are old and wrinkly and I can turn to you and ask, "Remember when you Rick Jamesed the shit out of that couch??"
I can't believe he just friend zoned me like that.
Dude, you're not even gay.
This is classic penis vs brain.
And it was in that moment when I realized that these high schoolers looked up to me and that I should set a good example. So I stole a casserole and left.
HANDS OFF UNTIL AFTER I DO BUTT STUFF WITH HIM.
Randomize
