That was definitely a porn plot just waiting to develop...
Rub youre cunt and tell me you love me.
Your incorrect use of you're doesn't arouse me in the slightest.
after a few more beers I realized that both my wife and I like Latin men.
All I remember was the chick screaming "don't hookup with him! His dick's the size of a cucumber"
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
OH GOD PAJAMAS ARE SUCH A HARD CONCEPT RIGHT NOW
You didn't have enough money so you tried to convince the cashier that "four dollar foot long" rolled off the tongue better. Stop drinking. Immediately.
reaaaally cool. my cat ate my birth control.
Hypothetical question. Say I was bleeding profusely, close to your house, and needed a place to go to clean up and perform minor surgery on myself. Like now.
I got Pilsbury cinnamon rolls for us to have tomorrow, but I don't have the willpower to leave them in my fridge overnight, so I am eating them all and getting us more in the morning
I love you more by the minute
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I didn't pop out of a cake in a speedo with diagrams
In case that's what u were picturing
It says a lot about the way my life is going right now that 'there's no shit in your house' is fucking good news.
I feel as if some line has been crossed, but only in this vague, WTF sort of way.
Just got the test results back; apparently I'm red-green colorblind. this explains the past 18 years of my life and i'm wondering why i didn't realize this sooner
I described my life as a 7 layer cake of death
it’s my vagina i can do what i want to
Randomize