the best things in life are free. have that freshly fucked look and doing the walk of shame by HIS girlfriend.....priceless
I wish i could clap on, clap off my penis
I don't care how ugly she is, I can't turn down a free movie +bj. In this economy that's downright irresponsible
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
we made out at a charity event. really i was helping the fight against aids...
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I have bruises all over from falling so much last night, I even have bruises on my arms from them picking me up off the street.. Oh vodka nights.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
ask me again when I'm sobewr aka tuesday
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You woke up butt naked, peed yourself said something about jumbo shrimp, and passed back out 10 seconds ltr..
If you enjoy dance recitals as much as I do, that's one shitty Father's Day...
Is it sad that I planned a a romantic trip to dunkin donuts for and with myself on Saturday, then added an equally romantic after midnight stroll through the half off candy sale? I find that worthy of adding a few cats to my collection agree?
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I know you would. And one day, we'll have a moment where i'll verbally assault a stranger for you.
I told him I thought I was pregnant and he told me he accidentally killed my bird.
Circle of life.
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