ps i'm pretty sure i was blacked out when we hooked up? good thing i was w. you and not an actual diddler or an organ harvester
Hahaha. Shut up you were blacked out my ass. U were str8 mixin it up with urs truly like it was ur J-O-B
I let some guy put hot sauce in my asshole for his birthday
I don't know. I guess at the end of the day I wanted taco bell more than a boyfriend.
Totally get that.
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
I just realized that my phone was set to Brazilian time...what the fuck happened last night
Standing in a circle of girls fistpumping to the word "hospital" while taking shots.... I don't see this ending well, but its fucking fun.
Gees I domt know what your deal was. You kept looking at Nick and shaking your head frantically and doing a weird motion with your hands
Tgat was the small dick alert
Just got caught staring at a woman breast feeding. My only response was, "She's so adorable".
So I walk in and he's teaching someone in London via Skype how to roll a blunt. I have new found respect for him.
I am day drunk. Get ready to see my dick.
I've counted 3,503 loops of fabric on my carpet so far. FUCK YOU ACID!!!
let’s be honest I’d fucking Irish step dance on your grave, asshole
Thanks for being my best friend so I can use you as an alibi to my family while I'm out getting some dick in my face.
At least he uses his lack of impulse control for chaotic good instead of chaotic evil
It’s Sunday Funday! Stop watching football and bring your penis over here. There will be plenty of scoring!
Randomize
