In the future we'll all be gay
no it's cool...i'm just drinking and studying...cool night
I got us kicked out of the bar because the waitress found me in the kitchen trying to make spaghetti
You know how my eyes change color? Well I noticed after I hook up with someone my eyes are greener.
Wow, so you're like the Edward Cullen of sluts.
I'm pregaming with America's Best Dance Crew.
Do a shot everytime Lil' Mama mispronounces a word.
Their house warming gift for us was a half case of keystone and getting the cops called..
can you blow me for old times sake
only for old times sake
Its not the fact that i woke up wearing a tutu that bugs me its the fact that i have 75 photos of me wearing a tutu on facebook
Dude, chad is laying across the room, violently, passionately, pornographicly eating something and I seriously think the 'some thing' is fighting back.
I can smell the sangria seeping out of my pores
She complimented my boobs and then told me I smelled like teddy bears before falling asleep on the floor.
Had sex in a cemetery last night during a thunderstorm. I feel like my goth points have skyrocketed
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
We'll never be able to grow apart now. You can't look at a stranger & say "Yea I ate goldfish crackers off his dick." & just be casual about that.
Peru was great. He sent me a text after thanking me for my amazing morals which confused me but made me oddly proud...then he texted a correction. He meant my amazing oral. Sadly this Made me prouder. Fuck u bitches and ur morally inhibiting gag reflexes.
Randomize
