You can't motorboat a personality
Told a girl i wanted to feel her bellybutton from the inside... I need to learn how to flirt
Look at it this way: if he'll have sex with a tomato, he'll have sex with you.
we came up with a wnba drinking game. take a shot every play that you could've done better. won't make it through 1st quartar
he asked me to "shake his dick" when he introduced himself, playing naked football with you in our living room. $100 says you two get married one day.
You were crying because you hate wine coolers but you really wanted to prove you could finish it
There should be a rule.......that if you have a small penis you must wear a hat with propellers on it so you can fly the hell off the planet.
The friend zone. He put me in the friend zone. But said he still wants me to suck his dick. I'm in the dick sucking friend zone and I want to die.
WTF? Why is there a pic of my tits in ur dad's office?
Who's the easier target... Bandages on the knees, tramp stamp, or bra showing? Not in the mood to work for it tonight.
She came so hard that after she finished, she started a slow clap and then told me she pulled a muscle.
So I was dancing on a table with these three girls and my bro. Started to makeout with one and as the song ended I asked what her name was. She said, and I quote, "Nate we hooked up two weeks ago". To which my reply was to lift my beer to bro and proclaim, "RAGE".
the twins are trying to figure out which one is the one doing body shots off a janitor in this picture
Look. All I'm saying is that if the USWNT can win a shit ton of medals and have two gay love stories with happy endings, there's still hope in this world
Walked off the dance floor to find Gabe hitting on a dad bod at the bar. It was my Dad. Awkward is an understatement.
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