office poll is still running 100% that Spencer Pratt is more disturbing than David Carradine's death
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
he matches the description of mystery hookup #2, 4, and 7
it was like watching bambi learning to walk, if bambi was 22 and a high functioning alcoholic.
at what point did you see referring to the bartender as 'the white precious' a good idea??
Someone better explain the burnt stove marks on my bed.
I thought monday through wednesday was a YOLO free zone.
Some lady just walked up to me in the bar and proclaimed that I looked like a "shady motherfucker." Can't argue with that one.
Yeah to go race car driving with a 54 yr old gastroenterologist. I really wish you'd come to have that drink with me Wednesday
i puked in the 2nd best shower and the couple fucking in the 1st didnt even pause so you might wanna hold off on that for a while
being single and having a boyfriend 300 miles away is eerily similar. never skipped a beat eating hot wings in my bed with no pants or masturbating every day.
Well, you're 18 and dating a 28 year old. Who has a wife. Who isn't you. I would guess that's why your mom frowns upon the relationship.
Only a true best friend would remind you to make sure your cucumber dildo is organic
Also fuck yeah conspiracy
There is way too much butt cleavage here for a formal event.
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