The tricky part is not getting sand in any orifices. Or is the plural orifi? Orifi don't, we'll both be unhappy...
I have never pre-planed for a better sober morning than lacing my muffin batch with tylenol.
He fucked my earring out of my ear. Of course he's coming over again.
Chelsea handler, $19 million - Forbes women top 100. Seriously she shaped her career around her love of vodka. HERO.
Can you explain to me why I woke up with my hands tied to the hotel bed with the phone cord???
Not sure. No solid plans. Just tanning nude.
Got a blowie from her in the cab on the way home. Made awkward eye contact with the cabbie who said, and I quote "Keep the mess in her mouth bro", I did so only out of respect
I just found a wine bottle in my shower. Must have been a good night.
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
Is it unethical to trim my bush hair with the scissors from my office?
What, so now you are his nutritionist and his fuck buddy?
Found her grinding on my boss with her tongue down her throat last night. Guess who just got promoted!
im ready to get drunk and forget everything ive learned this semester
He fucked me harder than I've ever been fucked before and afterwards he started crying and profusely apologizing to god and baby Jesus for his sin.
Right after i got done cumming i sat back and gave a big Ric Flair "WOOOOOO!"
Randomize
