Can we reminisce? I held a mans penis while he peed. This is the craziest night I've ever had.
We're talking about addictions in class and there's a girl 2 rows in front of me on Farmville. Hello, example.
he was writing an apology letter to his liver in shakespearean english... That much fun...
once she started licking the door on the stall, i got out of there and told her bf "this is your problem now" and walked away
Why hello there Olivia! How are you today on this fine and most wonderful morning full of magic and adventure and awesomeness?
Someone just got laid.
I heard from anne today. She has a broken collarbone and is knocked up. Apparently florida is awesome
I am currently sitting on a candy bar to warm it up cause it was in the fridge so I can eat it while watching the last song and smoking weed by myself
Oh, and my friends believe you should reimburse me for the brazilian that was gone to waste.
He's moaning and crying and coughing up something audibly liquid. I can't live in this house any more.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
We HAVE another bedroom, it's not like I was gunna chain you into the closet. Often.
I feel like it should at least be like a "hey look I'm actually fine that I drunkenly gave you my virginity!" friend request.
Might call you tomorrow on a drunken hate filled rant, or just a normal hate filled rant, either way be ready.
I'm sorry my shit is everywhere... I accidentally got drunk while packing
Neighbor just came over and asked if I had anything to clean blood out of carpet... it's definitely time to move.
Randomize
