epic walk of shame this morning involving 2 subway transfers. I need to start sexing locally.
I heard you threw up in your lap?
I heard that too.
i just found a cheeto on my floor and ate it. i might still be drunk.
please tell me you didn't have sex with him in the bathroom...
Does an alley count?
Fine. Just this once and because its veterans day will I send you a picture of my tits. You're lucky I love this country.
It's pretty bad that I know he's opening his door from the way it squeaks because I have snuck out of his room so many times this semester...
making my second box of kraft dinner for the day. thinking about telling him how much you cheat on him so that you end up having to spend valentines day with me. i'm sorry its every man for himself.
I have pictures of you scratching against the sliding glass door on your knees screaming how you felt like a lamb.
So I saw the nuva ring just lying on the counter at Planned Parenthood...did u know it's just a ring? I could go to the Dollar tree buy a plastic bracelet and shove it up there instead.
You do that. Then go have lots of unprotected with your harem of booty calls and see how that works out for you.
It sounds like heaven mixed with world peace and orgasms. The acoustics in this car are awesome. Or it's the weed idk either way it's great
It's titled "A countdown to death. A psychological look at the downward spiral of actress Lindsay Lohan and her inevitable Hollywood demise" This dissertation is genius. Not a single sober moment for either Lindsay or myself. Good stuff!
When and where the fuck did we get a beach ball??
WE HAVE TO LEAVE. I HAVE HAD SEX WITH WAY TOO MANY PEOPLE IN THIS BUS STATION.
..and by hang out i don't mean fucking then going back home i mean let's get something to eat & watch a movie and fuck sometime in between.
I remember is someone saying "I smell weed" and then having a room full of sober high school kids look at me.
Randomize
