is it bad that the economy has gotten so bad that finding cheap gas gives me the same excitement and joy as finding a hot, blonde haired, blue eyed, tall, athletic single straight guy?
Didn't tell him I was on my period. Then had to surreptitiously remove some uterine lining from his cock.
Contrary to popular belief alot of woman do actually enjoy sucking cock.
she just threw a smoke bomb in an elevator and ran down 9 flights of stairs to see it at the bottom.
im probably shirtless right now with a bottle of jack watching horton hears a who. this is a judgement free zone.
we tried to pick out bridesmaid dresses with pockets so we could sneak flasks in with us. what the fuck is the point of a dry wedding?
I had to step in when you tried to make it rain baking powder on my sister
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
So essentially hes paying me $150k/year for the rest of his career to not have sex
SERIOUSLY? WTF! why cant I find a super hot, super gay, super conservative christian NFL player in need of a beard?
So I paid for the taxi using pennies and hair clips, no need to thank me.
So again no comment on the cleavage. I'm a bit disappointed. If those girls come together to make cleavage AND I send you a pic of it, you have to comment on it. That's like relationship 101.
I think its awesome that i just got you to cheer for sex
Well sex is awesome. Sex deserves cheers.
nobody was home so I boiled the dildo
Also so weird my phone cracked after I repeatedly threw it at the ground as hard as possible
I realized today that the only things I'm guaranteed to have with me at all times are lipgloss, condoms and a USB drive. hmmm...
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