Ha i know. My vag can't go too crazy for a boy halfway across the country. It doesn't have that good of range
I'm ready for this little girl to leave so I can hit the bong already
Getting sheets for college, what is the thread count that shows the least amount of cumstains?
630.
Just proof I should've brought the airhorn with me to class.
He brought a jar of pickles to the party. So now I've had beer, animal crackers, AND a pickle since noon.
Like there's an 87% chance I'll end up on the bedroom floor demanding sex while freestyling in your face. I'm going to buy rum.
Whoever invented the gimlet should be given a medal and then shot
Sorry about coming to the pool in only a thong. I thought you said it was closed. Not that you were teaching a group of kids how to swim.
I'm sending lingerie pics that I took yesterday. I fully prepared for this holiday
I need to be put in a corner surrounded by pamphlets of stds and babies
Why can't you just come over, fuck me, then leave so i can get stoned and watch law and order?
I'm sitting here with a heating pad and a fan on me eating snow caps off of my boobs
Can I pee and smoke my bong at the same time or is that like eating on the toilet
Just walked outside my house; realized I wasn't wearing any pants after about 3 minutes or so.
Drunk, high, hungover?
...I wish I had an excuse.
Goal: finish my bio assignment before the Xanax kicks in.
Randomize
