Dear yesterdays makeup, Thank you for always being there when I stay up late binge drinking on weeknights and am running late to work Friday morning. You're the best.
Still workable. Pretty sure i told her i'd eat her out in the woods.
Yeah the sex got weird after I said "who's your daddy?" and she actually moaned her dads name.
At one point we asked the guy to play "the lion sleeps tonight" with his bagpipes. Best version ever.
and hes going back to rehab like me, so we have common interests
Why did you leave me a note saying 'find the canary'
Decided against hooking up with creepy stalker guy for a ride to work. I feel I've earned a few self respect points back.
I just realized that there are baby oil soaked hand prints on the wall over my bed. Last night was a good night.
If you value my life, if you value your own, please look for that godforsaken cookie. Please.
Please never let me the drunk fat dancer in the bus girl
I just messaged a senior at Harvard and told him to 'tinder me softly'
Something about Sunday night screams phone sex
I just broke a sweat masturbating on a Friday night. I may need a boyfriend.
We're lying on the pavement outside of the college. No one has asked if we're okay. I think they all understand.
dont know what thebfuxk is in rhat shit, but dont lemme have antmore
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