I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
i woke up this morning in my bathroom,naked, with my boxers around my face and puke and shit on the floor and wondering why i didn't have a toenail on my one big toe.
compared to you, a hobo is quite responsible.
no you cant smoke seaweed
The only reason I give him head is because I know i'll get a back rub.
wow.
But it's a REALLY good back rub.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
You passed out and she managed to carry you all the way back to your dorm last night. I believe your testicles now her property.
Meghan got a job at the bar. We're now morally obligated to drink. Is this what dreams are made of?
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
If I get laid dressed as one of the McPoyle twins, I deserve all the medals.
My class coordinator for bio told us that the only thing we should do the night before an exam is to get laid. And then party down after the exam. I like him.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She literally took off her shirt and ran out of the bar. When she ran back she smashed into the glass door with her face....That's got to be the best way to celebrate your 30th.
She asked me to come on her OkCupid date with her
I'm topless, wearing a fur coat, stink of sex, and eating dim sum. 2015 is off to a great start.
SORRY FOR THE CAPS. I DIDNT CHANGE IT IN TIME AND ITS TOO FAR TO GO BACK NOW. PS IM SUPER BAKED
My farts smell like burning tires and false courage
Me and my boss just exchanged pictures of our bongs and such...I don't know I feel about this
Randomize