you opened the fridge, pissed on the food, fell over, then threw up on yourself. thats whats all over the kitchen.
fyi, we didn't break up, we just downgraded to occasional sex without ever talking about it.
This guy just brought his piggy bank into the bar with him. Talk about corruption of childhood.
oh yeah I know that guy. he's legit. slept in my closet a few times
she works at a police station now. i think thats the definition of keeping your enemies closer.
You seriously looked at the house acorss the street and implied that you thought they had nice Easters.
so i had a dream that andrew cuomo ate me out. guess who i'm voting for?
This just spotted: a bagpiping Elmo on the street.
The spark has left our relationship. i used to make slightly inflammatory jokes at you. you would retaliate in jest. look at this. look at what is happening here.
She's opening her family birthday cards at the bar. So we can pay our tab. Bitches wrote checks :(
I just learned how to imitate a trains smokestack. The downside is it makes you look like you ate cocaine. The upside is YOU LOOK LIKE A TRAIN
Dude I was tripping acid when she was crying and I literally couldn't defend myself
I dunno what's worse, that one guy here said he'd blow somebody for Tim Horton's right now, or that someone else looks like they want to test his sincerity.
Come get me, I'm fucking scared.
I hope I didn’t eat too many edibles just now. I got shit to do today. Like make Jell-O shots and take a shower.
Bleach your asshole, I'm on my way.
Who is this?!?!
Randomize
