Do you remember getting into a Delorean last night?
my mkouth tastes houw teh zoo smelllls
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
she just built a cabin out of hotdogs and cooked it in the microwave.
now she is shaking the plate and mumbling "this is what california must feel like"
I don't care how old I am, if it's your 21st birthday I'm going to make out with you.
50 year old business women like dick too. Come on she said you looked like Ricky Martin.
You will never truly trust yourself until you have shaved your armpits, legs, and vagina in the dark.
You said you'd make me a thank you card for taking care of your drunk ass. I'll be expecting that monday.
I WANT TO. I JUST IMAGINE HIS BEAUTIFUL BLONDE HEAD INBETWEEN MY LEGS AND I BREAK DOWN AND START CRYING.
Company meeting and there he was. Felt a little weird like 'last night you were telling me how your dick loves me, and now we're listening to a report on sales figures'.
I'm upset for all the future generations who can't drunkenly get cheesy bread
sometimes you just gotta rip off the nipple tape and get it done.
Listen, you eat the donut. I eat you out. Everybody wins.
We decided it was a good idea to go streaking through the campus. Everything was fine until the sprinklers turned on and we realized the keys were in his pocket.
WHY are you masturbating to hockey fights?
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