You feel like going out tonight?
Does a 14yr-old girl look good beat up? I'll bring the handle
she farted while i was going down on her. not doing that again
you were definitelymotorboating random chicks as they walked out of the bar. just like, down the line. you kept yelling "Motor Boats for everyone!!!!"
Oh and then this old man who saw it happen goes "don't do that"
Hahaha what a helpful old man. Like you thought it was normal to be spilling gas everywhere.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
sober me hid the cigs from drunk me. sober me is a tricky bitch.
Aparently his snake got loose in the middle of the night. Not a sex joke, he has a fucking snake
there was a trail of blood coming out of one of the bathroom stalls. thought of you
I'm sorry I tried putting my balls in your cup holder.
there is a money trail leading from my bathroom to my living room.. the trail ends with a half eaten bag of chips with a note that says "magical chipz".. who am i?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I swear with his long flowing hair and god-like body he looked like Jesus, a bong hitting Jesus
His roommate left already and took the beer pong table so we had to take off his bedroom door. Maybe res life won't notice.
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
This is not the first time I've recognized my body is subconsciously trying to make pizza.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Need to use your shower bro.
FWB wearing glitter again?
It’s like she’s marking her territory
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